Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We were destined to go to rehab together
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
