it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
