we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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