is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
