yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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