never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
