he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It's never too late to be topless.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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