I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
