So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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