the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
