I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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