they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
