you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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