you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
