I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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