My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
