Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
