If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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