and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
