I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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