Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
