I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
