Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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