areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
