I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
not ubering you a puppy
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
