I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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