I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
