haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
