i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
