I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
