Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
