I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
