please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize