Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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