Taylor Swift is so right about you.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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