so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
