Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
