so that wasnt chicken after all
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
ugly people sure do ruin things
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
