I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
