i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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