it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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