shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
