And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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