love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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