Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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