If i come over, it means nothing
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
