How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
