so that wasnt chicken after all
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
