On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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