Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The feeling are messing with the penis
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
