dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
